Kung Fu Fighting

Hello, I’m the worst ninja squirrel in the world. My name is Bezel and you might guess I’m female but actually I’m a male.
I think my grandmother gave me that name when my mother tried to throw me away because I was too fat. As I was growing up all my classmates kept picking on me because I was a slow learner. They kept on steeling my acorns from me. The best acorns I found
So I was learned to become a ninja. I want to beat the others so I can get respect around here. So it was hard to get to my goal and my grandmother just died when she saw me get my pink belt and I was super mad and everyone went to the funeral. The next week I worked really hard to do my best at the stuff. My master Oolong Tea is almost like the other masters but he dropped way before he got all the belts of Shoaling (I mean Kung Fu).
We have to keep it on the low down if you know what I mean. We have to meet in secret places to practice the best moves in history, but they’re only the best of the best of the past. The most I learned are the ways of Jung Kin Leo Shikaka. That’s the best combination move, back in the day when old geezers used to do when they’re protecting their belongings. It was my finale test to become the best, but I had to do the ones I normally do before the ultimate move of death. I have done my moves, except the one I really like, but I hate to do. But it’s the test you know. After my master graded my moves he had an ugly look in his face, and I was crying like my imaginary friend Shmiverson.
But my master was laughing his lungs out and said to me “You have passed,” I stopped crying and started to laugh. Someone from the village found out I was training with the old geezer and I was punished for practicing it. So I couldn’t compete for the tournament. I had to do chores for the whole year, eighteen hours a day.
Man, that really stinks, Man, that really does stink and I can smell it from behind me. Oh I didn’t know I did it but, anyways, I was getting sick and tired of doing this poopy stuff. So I Kung Fued my way out and went to the tournament. My master was waiting for me and he had registered me in already.
When I was thinking, this song came up in my head “everybody likes to Kung Fu fighting and everyone’s fast as lighting”, man that song is the explosion. Well, back on subject, when I saw the ugliest girl I started to laugh really hard and she came up to me and kicked me where I can’t stand and I thought I was the ugliest one. When the contest started, I was fighting against the biggest fat kid in the town. Well the fat kid was easy because I made fun of him and he ran off the fighting stage and started crying by his mother. When my second match was going to be next tomorrow because some of the judges are getting tired of the fighters fighting because it takes them a while to beat each other.
The very next day I was really sick because I ate nasty sushi last night from some fat Chinese man. Man someone who ripped me off tricked me. There I was for my next fight, he was tall and skinny and I puked on him when he was about to hit me. He ran off the stadium and he got disqualified. There I was, the championship and I was going to fight the best of the best. There I had to rest for my next match.
The next morning my master told me to restrain the hits when he hits me. There he was, a midget that was only three feet tall. There he was ready to beat the fur off me and I was just scared as my friends, well I don’t have any friends at all. Well, here comes the kiss of the rat (I mean squirrel) but you what I mean. He jump on my head and screaming like a little boy. Then I was screaming too. There he was hitting me in the face and I was hurt pretty bad.
So I used the ultimate move on him and he blocked it and I did it again when he was off guard. He was knocked out and I had won the fight. I am the champion and he is the loser, I am the winner, he is the loser and I am the winner. Ok, enough of that. Everyone respected me like a king, so that’s my story of my life.


The end